If you enjoy hearing me flap my gums on the Hewitt show, I apologize: I forgot. I don’t know what day it is. I really don’t. All I know is that it’s FAIR DAY, because that’s the order of things. I cannot imagine not going to the Fair. I cannot imagine that I have to go to the Fair again. But off I go. Today I brought Gnat, which made the day extra good but somewhat difficult, since I couldn’t sprint around at my usual pace – but this meant I could, no had to slow down, and that made all the difference. We had a wonderful time. Sitting on the curb eating hot dogs, strolling to the Kidway, marching north with slushees to see the hourly Dog Sterlization Procedure at the pet barn (missed it, alas) then wandering back to the Official Buzz Porch to write . . . then walk-bus-car to make it to Minneapolis for the school’s open house, where we’d meet her new teacher. I had to park a few blocks away. A tree-trimming truck blocked my passage, so I just parked WHEREVER, got her out and started sprinting to the school: 12 minutes until the open house ends! Move! Move! Move –

You know those dreams in which you’re trying to run, but you’re too slow? Like that. I looked down: I had just put five deep footprints in freshly poured sidewalk. I looked up: a sidewalk construction crew was looking at me with horror: aaahhhhJEEZ. A worker ran over and began smoothing the prints while I apologized, over and over. I didn’t leave until he said s’alright, which I know he didn’t mean. Can’t blame him. But it was the kind equivalent of oh go get the hell out of here, so I did. Then I got salad from a deli and got home and discovered I’d missed the Hewitt show – blinky lights on the phones – and dingdong, the evening guest was here: Michael Medved making the annual stop. See, I’m close to the airport, so the Salem radio guys know it’s a place where they can relax and have a beer and talk, and believe me, I’m happy to provide the opportunity. Politics movies urban planning mass transit music gossip, and salad. And James Page Ale, the label designed by the artist who illustrated my column a quarter century ago.

Ahhhhhh.

They left at eight, and I slammed together the daily vidcast. Apparently it’s going to be promoted on the front page of the paper tomorrow, which is grand news.

Hah! Just got a call from the late shift at the paper, wondering when the video would be up. Odd as this may sound, given the slightness of the enterprise – I’ve never felt so useful to the organization.

Obligatory Fair photos, as if I’m not DOING ENOUGH OF THIS STUFF:

Gnat in pole position. All the cars had stickers for Goody’s Headache Powder, and I was surprised to see stickers for Birra Moretti – no idea they were race-car sponsors. That was the beer that came out of the vending machines in the youth hostel in Rome. Never forget it: the label has an old man blowing foam off his mug. (Update: not any more. And the new guy looks like STALIN.) Italian beer. For when you’re fed up with pretending wine will do on a hot Roman August night.

This year’s prizes:

Homer in profusion, and the ever-popular Batman. Wonder if we’ll see these guys offered as prizes in 20 years.

You know what? I hope so.

See you at buzz.mn, which is to say, at the Fair. New vidcast already up.