I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue, I’ll tell you that. Glum all day. I realized tonight when last I’d had this heavy heart: a year ago, when the Challenger went down. Bad news, a hard blow. I think many feel the same way; if it’s not the news, it’s the reaction of many to the news. The hills are alive with the sound of wrong conclusions being drawn. But I’m in no mood tonight to jump down in the trench and start digging. I reset my brain with an hour of UT ’04, then started a small cigar on the porch. Not the perfect remedy, but it helped. So! Happy thoughts! Happy! Now I’m truly on vacation; no Bleat Friday. I leave you with this:

The thrilling conclusion to the interminable and utterly boring Frankenstein Jr. Big Little Book

Phil Harris, singing "The Thing." A novelty song from 1950. What a fine bygone American voice he had; clear, untutored, radio-ready. Try not to grin. My dad had this song, but in a version by Danny Kaye, which I believe is superior; I'd post it if I had it. (Oh, the things you find when you're looking for something else.)

The other night I put in the disc of Extras for “City Lights,” and had a larf: it contains the trailers for American, French und Churman releases. The American trailer has no voice-over. The French voice-over sounds so very Fronsh, and tells us of Charlie’s three characteristics: Victim, Lover, and Hero. The German version sounds like someone commanding everyone to go buy knockwurst under penalty of death. Odd thing is, the voice sounded familiar; it sounded like the guy who narrated the UPA newsreels. I’d check it out but I’m too lazy busy to dig out my WW2 DVDs.

You think I’m kidding? Here’s the French title card.



Here’s a snippet of the French voice over.


Here’s the German title card. Translation: Big Frog Licker.



And here’s the voice-over, with music that sounds like "Hindenburg's Prostate Exam." Chaplincharliesmiling you will be having! Schnell!

See you Monday.

Oh, one more thing: This. I'm in for a sawbuck. Care to match?

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c. 1995-2004 j. lileks