FutureDog! Dog of The Future! One of those dreadful 60s glimpses into the world to come, when bouffanted women would stuff Asta in a plastic crypt when they were off slamming MaiTais and smoking Silva Thins. The poor dog is even wearing a cape, which is even more mortifying. Dogs do not want to wear capes. Dogs are not interested in the future.

The writing on the bottom of the cage, incidentally, says “Patent Pending.” What possible patent could they have for this device? A new way of making dogs find it impossible to get comfortable?