This was very popular for a while: the Butch-Cassidy-Slept-Here-and-We’ve-the-Body-Lice-to-Prove-It look. Diagonal barn slats. Authentically weathered signs that had been exposed to real, authentic weather. (Note: some areas may have been speed-weathered in Mexico.) A heater guaranteed to turn the entire attic into an unbearable sauna. Macrame hanging-plant holders.

Adolescent fear: one of the ‘rents will come upstairs while you’re making out, or, worse, making out alone.