WHY? Oh, I don’t know – because he’s killed a dozen men and watched his best friends die screaming as they tried to stuff their guts back in their bodies, and your last letter told him you were angry because he hadn’t said anything about what the drapes should look like after you got married? Because he actually married someone else overseas, and she’s in the sack?

How does she know what his expression looks like, anyway? She’s looking at the bow of the ship.

Note the story in the middle: “No Army Dates for Me.” Because the guy was all hands and he brought along a friend who stared at her real weird and did his nails with a Bowie knife and didn’t say anything all night? Probably not.