Here we see Sgt. Soren “Stumpy” Torso stalking away in bitter misshapen fury, having just announced to his sweetheart that he cannot marry her after all, even though she donated her ribcage to the USO. Conveniently, a garish draft-dodger dressed in tell-tale cowardly hues is on hand to console her, and remind her that the GI heart is ever fickle.

The bases were just lousy with those guys.