And now, a word from the Department of VavavaVoom. This isn’t an ad for a muscle-building course, though; it’s NUMAL, a doctor-approved formula that works scientifically on your crippling lack of self-worth. “Remember, the girls with the glamorous curves get the dates.”

If you have any doubts about its efficacy, read the testimonials, and be reassured by the clip-art doctor regarding a urine sample and concluding “no, I can’t see how they can sue one way or the other.”

Also, men! For God’s sake! Put some clothes on! You look like a coat rack with nipples.