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 Egads. I am in the exact same place I was last night when I began. Same irritating Chicken Run story on the Hello Kitty boombox down the hall. Let me go do something about that.Back. I didn’t the rote “hey!” that usually follows the disconnection of an ignored media device. She was playing with her My Little Ponies. “Hi, Dad,” she said when I sat down. Jasper wandered in, looking for action; he’s been following me around all night. He sniffed the ponies: dead, as usual. What gives. They have eyes and hair and four legs, but there’s nothin’ going on there. And he can’t even play with them. Eh. Gnat noted that a metal barrette was stuck to a MLP’s hoof. Lesson time! “That’s because it has a magnetic hoof.” “A magnetic hoof?” she said with awe and wonder. “Yes. Watch this.” I put the hoof an inch from Jasper’s rabies tag. It swung out and stuck. Same with his chain. “Wow. Let me try.” And so it came to pass that we had three My Little Ponies hanging from various parts of Jasper’s neckwear. He stood there and took it. Then he gave that unnervingly human sigh dogs do so well, and went downstairs. He’s on the sofa now. His day is done. Later: Gnat wants a peanut. I saw she can have two. “I want fwee.” Lesson time! “Would you like three half-peanuts or two whole ones?” “Fwee. No! Two! Two whole ones.” I’m stunned. I’ve suspected for a while that her strong point will be something we never suspected, like mathematics or geometry; perhaps this is first proof. She gets two whole peanuts. “Dank you.” Yesterday I provided the Heww Hughitt show with a Bob Dylan parody, and while I’d love to say that I got it from some obscure, impossible-to-find record, that’s not the case. It’s from a 1976 comedy album called “The Rutland Weekend Songbook,” by Neil Innes and Eric Idle. As far as I now it’s the first record that features the Rutles, if you care about such things. This being a column night, Wednesday is regrettably Bleat-poor, but never let it be said I don’t provide backup entertainment. Jetsam Cove presents: ads from 1950s travel guide to a certain Mesopotamian city that’s been in the news. Enjoy. |
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