Ramping up the soup parade! Onion has been relegated to the chorus, as four new soups SHATTER THE PREEXISTING SOUP PARADIGM. The new entries include “noodle,” which must have been decades in the making, Cream of Tomato, Cream of Mushroom, and Vegetable-with-Slaughterhouse-Fragments.

Note that Vegetable-Beef is “meatier than regular Hormel Vegetable.” Because - and I’m just guessing here - it has beef.

To tell you the truth, this has made me hungry for Hormel Soup. Or anything Hormel. Yes, that includes their chili. Some raw onions, some cheddar - mmmm. Spam? Sure, if you fry it up and put it in Vietnamese noodles and add Rooster sauce.