Vacationland travel brochures from the 50s and 60s are always slightly sad; it's like they hadn't invented Disneyland yet, so everyone had to do with statues and gardens - and singing bell towers, for heaven's sake.

For a while the Bok, the Gardens, and the Great Masterpiece were known as the Big Three, but then Silver Springs joined the band, and Florida had a quartet. Frankly, I don't see anything here that would make me travel across the country, but I've been spoiled by Tomorrowland. I bring this up because the brochure deals specifically with one attraction - and it's the most underwhelming assemblage of items you can imagine.

Although if you were a kid, say 7 or 8? Might be cool. Maybe. Until dad got mad because you'd all been walking around in the miserable heat for six hours, and he'd be got-damned if he was going to spend another hour swatting flies and sweating through his shirt just to see some lousy orchids. We have orchids at home. I'm sure of it. And if we don't, then to hell with them.

Let's begin.