When life hands you lemons, make lemonade! When the designer orders too much of that hideous red pattern, According to the text, “a new rug started this redecorating.” Well, we know who to blame then: a sentient piece of scheming floor-covering. When people walk in and reel back in horror, just point at the rug and whimper “he started it.”

The desk, you'll note, has entered the Fifth Dimension.