Usually we start a new book with the cover. “Where’s the cover?” you say. You’re correct. Shut up. Thirty six pages into this particular site, I think I know what I’m doing.

I will save the cover for an appropriate moment. First, let’s go directly to Center City where the Brilliant Scientist, Dr. Conroy, is giving a presentation. No doubt somewhere in Fringe City there’s a basically competent scientist giving a presentation, but we’re not concerned with him.

Here Professor Conroy announces to the scientific assembly that he has perfected the bullet-proof tomato, and his son will now demonstrate. Actually, the gun is a “Disseminator,” and it makes things temporarily able to pass through solid surfaces. Long has mankind wished for the day when they could throw a tomato at a house, zap it with a disseminator, and have it strike the occupant inside. The lack of a disseminator, of course, foiled these desires. No more! Pranksters rejoice.