When the star had five points, the contrary slash looked like an invigorating counter-argument. With four points it looks like a void, the result of a grievous wound.

It's been a rainy evening. Downpours that make you wince because you know how close we are to snow. A good night to half-watch football with the dog dozing on his bed and text with Daughter and then put it all on hold to vacumn a vent cover in the bathroom. Wife got on a cleaning kick and realized that we had not removed the vent cover, and it surely must be dusty. To which I think, probably, but I'm not seeing long beards depending from the grate. Even if there a few wisps, I don't have my glasses on when I get out of the shower, so I can't see them, and I can live with the suspicion that there might be dust up there. BUT one thinks such things to one's self, while placing one's fingers on one's lips to ensure they are not moving and vocalizing anything contrary. So up on the chair, take off the clips. Why, would you look at that: dust indeed.

If you're curious, we did the recessed lighting covers last night, after the radiator cleaning. I think tomorrow we will powerwash the lint trap and oil the hinges on the old disused coal-chute door.

An ordinary Monday. Two deadlines, met them both, of course. Reached a final decision on Traders Joe chicken sausage: it's consistently disappointing. All chicken sausage is disappointing, if one remembers: ah, right, there's sausage made from beasts with four legs, and it's better in every respect. This was the "spicy Italian" variety, and it has no spice profile at all. There might be a fleck of red pepper that was put in one of those machines that shave cells into micron-thin slices, but the tongue just detects the anti-flavor of unimproved chicken. I think I've known this stuff was disappointing for a very long time, but I keep buying it because I don't want to confront the existence of a delusion that stretches back a cae.

Well, I'm facing the truth now. Tomorrow for lunch I will have an ACTUAL SAUSAGE, being a cheddar-jalapeno brat. It has substance, heft, confidence, and a hint of casual malice: somehow the jalapenos have kept their bite

Sorry, wandered off there for a bit. Watching a TV show that had the following subtitles:

[coyotes continue yipping]

[clippers clipping]

[Speaking Spanish] Look, that's why I turned them on in the FIRST PLACE

It's that new Tyler Sheridan show. Landman. I know a lot of people love Yellowstone. I started watching but felt as it I was coming in on Dallas on the first episode with 42935 more to go. Seemed soapy. But this one has Billy Bob Thornton, Jon Hamm, and Demi Moore. Maybe I can get in on the ground floor and not feel as if I have to eat my way through an entire shelf of phone books.

I am becoming impossibly picky. Do you ever find yourself thinking "boy, I enjoyed those three episodes of that show. But I don't think I'll watch any more. No reason. Just won't."

Signs of impending HOLIDAY zeitgeist shift:

		This was sitting in the elevator lobby, unattended. It's a box of Christmas decorations. A sleigh piled high with boxes. All fiberglas! All from China. I googled the product number - Northlight BG82569 - and I will commit it to memory. When it appears in the lobby, I can say "hey, that's the Northlight BG82569," and amaze everyone.

Of course the opportunity would not arise, and even if it did, I would not say it. No one wants an inventory know-it-all.

Also spotted:

		"How can we get around saying "Christmas" this year?" "Hmmm . . . WinterFest?" "Great! But capitalize the F." "I did. You just didn't hear it. It's hard to indicate capitalization with a mid-word fricative."

It’s still 1932.

We’re finishing up with the Delineator.

And by “pink” we mean your diseased tissue is leaking blood:

You need stern, hard, vigorous food! The kind that made our forebearers keep their choppers into their 80s!

This was common enough that “pink” was all they really had to say.

Bias Fold Tape for Smart Pajamas is not a phrase you hear much these days

		I’ve no idea what it is. So we google . . . Bias tape is a narrow strip of fabric that has been cut on the bias with the edges folded in. It is sometimes then folded in half and pressed flat. The bias of a fabric is at a 45-degree angle across the surface of the fabric relative to the grainline and selvage edges. Ah, well, all is clear now.

That seems an entirely proper expression for an onion, particularly if it knows its kin have been chopped and eaten.

And now we know that Tums were new in 1932. Well, relatively so. They were introduced in 1930. Here’s a picture of the factory, and HOLY HELL what is that thing in the back?

“It's the new "Alkaline Way" you have “heard so much about.”

Yes, everyone was ramping up the alkaline aspects, although no one knew what the devil that meant. But it was scientific!

Introduced in 1931. It’s bicarb and aspirin.

Livin’ like Rockefeller’s:

Surely, you can think of an appropriate name for such a beautiful house. Do not use more than two words. Any word or words may be used or any combination of words such as “Parklawn" "Cozynook" or names like "Sunshine Inn,” “Rest Haven” etc. No matter how simple your suggestion is send it in at once. Any name may win.

FACE-FIRMING GUM CALESTHENICS

		“My, your face is so taut! Have you been chewing gum?”

I hear stories about young men doing this today for facial-structure improvement. It seems like a lot of work.

Can’t argue with this. But I’ve never thought of the stuff as relish.

The wikipedia article could stand a little tightening.

In 1824 Henderson William Brand, a chef to King George IV of the United Kingdom, created the original sauce on which A.1. is based. A popular myth has it that the king declared it "A.1." and the name was born.The term "A.1." originated as a ship insurance term in the UK to describe a "first rate" ship by Lloyd's of London.

So far so good. But:

It went into commercial production under the Brand & Co. label in 1831, marketed as a condiment for "fish, meat and fowl", and continued production under this label after bankruptcy forced ownership of Brand & Co. to be transferred to W. H. Withall in 1850. It was renamed A.1. in 1873, after a trademark dispute between creator Henderson William Brand and Dence & Mason, who had since purchased Brand & Co. from Withall.

Renamed from what?

Lovely ad.

RARE food values hidden in mellow cheese flavor! Precious elements richly concentrated, as in very few other foods! Health-protective elements of many foods - in one! That is what we have been giving you in Kraft Velveeta for two years now - and we didn't know it!

Wonder who told them.

Out of eight brands, five are still around. That might be a record.

That'll do. Time now for Bad Breath Theatre. See you around ~