Annnnnd it got worse.

Guy walks into a bar.

“What’ll you have.”

“Whiskey. Neat.”

“Whiskey it is. Single, double?”

(Puts on Mickey Mouse gloves)

“Three fingers.”

I was going to tweet that, but decided against it. I think it’s clear, isn’t it? I mean, everyone knows that his gloves are big and oversized. So ha ha I need a lot of whiskey

But whiskey is for Tuesdays and Fridays. The days I don’t have a deadline. Not that whiskey makes it difficult to hit a deadline or even write - au contraire! It’s a reward, a job-well-done moment for having written and filed and added to the interminable procession of pieces that stretch back, back, back to 1978. I had to smile this morning when I saw an editorial cartoon on the edit page of the paper by Jack Ohman. I disagreed with it, as usual, but I also think Jack is the best in the country. And he drew the illo for my first column.

It was about T-shirt slogans, and was titled “Know Thyself: S, M, L” This was before the invention of XL, I guess. The only line I remember was how a young woman said that the T-shirt slogan “Trampolinists Make Better Lovers” wasn’t a lie, but a devastating understatement.

It never occurred to be before now, but I should have said Trombonists.

If the high school sports team isn't the Boatmen, I'm going to be disappointed. Over two thousand souls, with a new soybean processing plant providing some jobs.

It’s two buildings, obviously. Built by the same guy, presumably. But . . .

He didn’t have enough money to make the addition the same size? And the bottom floor pretends there should be more on the left, or it’s a later addition? You want to exhume the bones and shake them and say EXPLAIN THIS, IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS

Two enormous guards keeping the boy-king safe:

A government project from the 30s, perhaps. I wonder if those are the second or third iterations of the trees. Or the first.

While I’m happy to see a newspaper office, the way they did that ground floor is less than salutary.

From its website:

The Volga Tribune is over 130 years old! First published April 8, 1882, the paper was known as the Dakota Gazette. Later in the year, it took the name Volga Tribune, although it was nicknamed the ‘Volga Shotgun’, due to the banging noises made by a gas engine used to power the printing press.

E. C. Lee. Is it possible that this fellow, who died at the age of 102 in 2022, was a descendent? “He was one of Volga's most respected business and community leaders and widely known as a man of integrity, kindness, generosity and humility.”

His fame was not spread far or wide, but he was good to Volga, it seems, and you hope Volga was good to him.

That’s odd.

So many non-windows.

Brand-spankin’ new:

Bringing the barn aesthetic to main street.

Busted and care-worn.

It’s hard to imagine what the front ever looked like, or why. You usually see retail on the ground floor. Looks as if that was never the case.

The VFD. No need to say any more.

The lines on the sidewalk are for parking, of course. Usually you see them on the street. Volga’s urban planners had other ideas, I guess.

Doesn't look as if it's the VFD anymore, unless the trucks burst out like the Kool-Aid man.

Ancient faux brick, painted, as usual, in white.

Nice to see that the buildings are occupied.

OUMB, the opening of which was probably covered in the Tribune as a sign the town was on the move, and that Volgaites would soon benefit from the principles of modern design.

And that’s about it. Sometimes there's just not a long there.

That'll do! Motels await.