I’m writing the last Bleat of the year in the office. There’s no one here. I suppose that’s due to the holiday week. It would seem unlikely for the place to feel emptier than usual, but it does. On a normal non-Tue, I’ll hear the occasional sound of someone opening the fridge, or having a phone conversation in Chez Barbara. But it’s just me and the white noise.

Or is it? I made a big urn of coffee when I got here. Position 2. There are three positions on the BUNN-O-MATIC; the first brews a few cups, the second is half the urn, the third tops it off. No one ever does Position 3. But Position 2 is common. I just went up for a second cup. All gone. Who’s drinking the coffee? Are there evaporating ghosts up there?

So that’s annoying me. Some days the emptiness of the place grates on me so hard and sharp I wonder how long I can take it. Of course I could stay home all day, and go mad, as an alternative to coming downtown, and going mad, but in either case I have this twitchy bristling restlessness and coal-seam-fire fury over what happened, and what continues to happen to this day. The death of downtown and office culture. The suicide mandate of 2020.

Well, the new amenities lounge is almost done. It had better be finished, since the sign says it opens in Winter 2023. Which would mean Friday. Don’t think that’s going to happen. The escalator is still under construction after three months. This just showed up by one of the elevators:

I don’t know why that makes me laugh, but it does. Seems a bit much. Just put up a sign. Now it looks as if a squatter decided to live in the elevator shaft.

Several things are annoying me, you'll be overjoyed to hear. One of them has to do with the new design, which you’ll meet next week. I hate it. I hated the one that came before, so I redid it, and liked it, but now I hate it. Every year I go through this and every year I rip up everything right at the end and start over.

Also annoying me: I made the mistake of clicking on a link to read a stupid piece, and the stupid piece was, indeed, stupid, but also pitched me into that realm of Very Bad Internet that makes me think I’ve dropped into a parallel world of unutterable banality. You know, this place -

Or maybe no one spends much time in this internet. It’s a vast unpopulated space full of billboards blinking at no one. Is it constructed by mediocre people? Or is it tuned and adjusted by cynical people to appeal to mediocre people?

		I took one for the team, and clicked on the most preposterous one.

From the piece, about nine miles down from the top:

First, Brady spent $2 million on a 53-foot Wajer 55S yacht, which was a good buy, but not as good as his next one. In 2021, the future Hall of Famer upgraded to a four-cabin, 77-foot yacht that sleeps up to nine people.

Turns out the Titanic was smaller than you thought.

Oh heck let’s just do it. Last of the year, a round-up of all the merry things that annoyed me on ONE PAGE.

		Hoes be mad, Experts be furious
		Always with the fury! Because their comfy lives are going to be ruined once this one weird trick is widely known!

		SEO algos must have proved, at some point, that assertions of GENIUS are GENIUS
		Amazon cannot stop you from DOING A GENIUS
		I guess walking out into a blinding snowstorm is GENIUS
		I'll bet if I do this, EXPERTS WILL HATE IT

This guy we’ve seen before. I guess he’s the internet’s GENIUS DOCTOR now because he points to things

Why is his tie blue?

He's on his knees, begging you to alter your avocado habits

This was the article I clicked on.

"Socialbuzzhive."

What is this nonsense?

A societal collapse, also known as civilizational collapse or systems collapse, doomsday, Armageddon and what have you, is the downfall of a complex human society.

And what have you?

It's characterized by a rapid and significant loss of social complexity, cultural identity, and adaptive capacity.

As for the cultural identity: “Loss of cultural identity and knowledge: Libraries, museums, and other repositories of knowledge may be destroyed, banned or abandoned, leading to a decline in cultural heritage and understanding.”

Where to go?

Hawaii: Hawaii is a group of islands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. It's a great option if you're looking for a warm climate and access to fresh water. However, it's also important to be aware of the risks of tsunamis and hurricanes in Hawaii.

Okay well let’s get a move on, fam, we have to get to Hawaii now that society collapsed

It's junk with that bad AI-written tone, a junk site with junk TikToks full of junk tips to optimize your brandized optimalized stragetic strategery, and it's partnered up with some Very Important Brands:

MarketerHirerer! JungleScout! Ever heard of that? They help you sell more on Amazon. Again, strategies maximized

I think I redesign the Bleat every year to compensate for the desire to tear down the entire internet and start from scratch.

Last look of the year at the Firehouse project: it's topped off.

Since we're on the subject of buildings, let me grind the gears and shift us to New York. Something I didn't discuss last week.

415 Madison Avenue. At least that's what it was. Here's what it's going to be. Much bigger. Forty stories.

There seems to be a lot of optimism about the future of office spaces in New York. I wonder if that's because a lot of people live in smaller spaces and would, in the end, prefer to commute to a larger place that gives them some breathing space from the cramped apartment.

"No," say experts, "you don't know what you're talking about, at all."

Well, wouldn't be the first time. Anyway, this structure was right across from the JPMorgan building's new project, and since that big brute required demotion of the International Style building on the block, that means that this evocative mid-century misty scene . . .

No longer exists.

This year's old newspaper feature: a social no-no single-panel illustration. Can you figure out what's wrong?

okay okay sorry, last week:

The last we'll see:

The answer may never be know.

		Now two ways to chip in!

That will do! Thank you for your visits this year, and I hope I've earned your patronage. All new (sort of, in a way) site next week.

(Only one First Day Issue left, bringing the renovated site to a close.)