Apple had a program called “Soundtrack,” which was a proto-Garageband idea. Tons of loops. It could import samples, so I decided - for reasons I cannot begin to recall - to assemble songs based on Star Trek quotes.

The first two pieces, however, were done in Garageband. The Dragnet Mix was the only piece in this list where I used a a miked keyboard; it had the orchestral crash effect, aside from other sounds I wanted.





Dragnet Mix. Samples taken from the famous episode in which Friday argues drugs with a Timothy-Leary stand-in. LSD is the Bomb.





Yeagh! This was played on MTV, so there’s that. Vocals by Howard Dean.






The Trek Series #1 Doctor Poppycock. The first Trek sample-o-rama. Simple objective: put a bunch of McCoy’s “I am doctor not a” lines together. This one builds nicely, then turns into a Southern hoedown. Hickno, I call it. Proudest moment: timing that medical scanner sound just right.


The Trek Series #2 Jim Kirk Poker Mix.

Well, he did, you know. A lot


The Trek Series #3 Your Agonizer Please. Less successful, perhaps because Spock just isn’t that quotable or dramatic. I mean, how do you set Spock to music? Use that stupid harp? I added some literal Vulcan sounds – lots of anvils reminding you were the beat was.


The Trek Series #4 Up Your Shaft. Like McCoy, Scotty had a tick: predicting DOOM any minute now. So let’s find a beat and put ‘em down. Alas, this one has a big dead period in the middle, because Scotty’s classic drunk talk had too much background music. But it leads to one my favorite parts: “can’t change the laws of physics / I don’t know if it can be repaired!”


Soylent Green Mix. What Is the Secret? The secret of Soylent Green, that is.


Lights Out: NO! The Chickenheart Doom Mix. Samples taken from a famous old radio suspense program about a chickenheart that took over the world. Really. This was the second one I did on Soundtrack – a testament to the ease of this program.