More fun from the Era of Well-Ventilated Shins: the baggy “jean” that bears no resemblance to jeans as the term is understood today. Or then, for that matter; I remember asking for jeans, begging for jeans, weeping for jeans so I could be like the other kids. This is what I was forced to wear in Junior High, you see. This. All the cool kids got to wear Levis and Wranglers; I wore pants with hues usually found in a close-up photo of a cirrhotic liver.

It took a while to convince my parents that jeans were not these things. Now I understand their confusion.

My father called real Levis dungarees, which irritated me more than you can believe. Unless you remember what it was like to be 13, or have such a creature in your house now. Then you know how that would rankle. You almost swore he said that on purpose.

Not that the shirts and jackets are called “toppings,” which makes them sound like something sprinkled on ice cream or a salad.