The key word, and your guarantee of comfort: “Smooth vinyl upper.” That’s right: plastic shoes. Your foot was swimming in moisture by the end of the day; you’d take these things off and the bird would fall off its perch.

The plastic was noted for cracking after a few months, and the heels came apart as well. The toes didn't just scuff - they became abraded, and no amount of polish could resurrect them.

Shoe #7 appears to have been favored by Satan, though; it has a most unholy glow.

"Smooth vinyl upper" would have been a popular drug in 1973, too.