Right to left again: “DEVASTATING . . . that’s you, in Frederick’s denim pantsuit.” Hmm. Is one required to salute the stitching? Would it be cruel to wonder if the model lost her right arm when the wind picked up and it just snapped right off? Eat something, girl! Moving right: the red number is appropriate if you are character in a lyric about the Copacabana nightclub, but otherwise you look someone threw a can of tomatoes on a Converse sneaker. The fresh ‘n’ white overalls look brings me right back to the 70s, and actually could be pretty dang sexy, if the lass resembled the one in the picture above. The housepainter from “Green Acres” – well, less so.

The pink item is the WILD ‘n WONDERFUL Crinkle Voile BUST-OUT pantsuit, and it’s the preferred costume by nine out of ten female mimes who specialize in pretending they’re leaning against a bar.

The rare photo seems to be Christina Ricci’s Mom in her Goth-biker-witchy phase; it has SWIRLS of FRINGE all around, which make it LOOK like it is FALLING APART. Finally, Morgan Fairchild models a lovely “Silvery” shiny shirt made of LUREX, which sounds more like a gas-station brand of condom than an actual fabric.