. . . and a pill to keep you from soaking the sheets. Almost miraculously end Shame, Discomfort, Inconvenience! So it's made of cyanide? No: Apparently it works by emitting light, which keeps you up, so you don’t go to sleep and pee in your dreams. No electrical devices! No rubber sheets! No alarms!
Alarms? Electrical devices? Did they hook jumper cables to a car battery and drape them across the bed? Best line: “dissolve in water.” Because nothing will keep you from bed wetting like a glass of water before you turn in. Second best line: “Tell your friends about this.”
Oh, sure. As soon as you tell them about the sixty-eight reels of 16mm fighting-girl movies in the bedroom closet.
Eye bleach is recommended for the next page, so get some handy.