No longer need your letters be as dry, awkward or as uninteresting as you are! Dozens of sample letters you can copy, word for word. But be careful with the “How to Make Everyday Events Sound Interesting” letter, because it’s just a template. If you ever meet her, you may end up fielding questions about your job as a milkman, when you’re actually an itinerant manure hauler.

So, do you like your job? It must feel great to know you left something on people’s doorsteps they’ll use all week long.

Uh – yeah.

I love the part about how the kids run up and ask for samples!

Well, that doesn’t happen so much anymore. My route got changed. It’s mostly in the country now.

Oh gosh, I love the country. The smells! It’s so fresh!

Yeah, it’s fresh, that’s one word for it.