(MIDTOWN) The Institute of Official Cheer today announced the hiring of withered aesthete and noted debaucher Lukat D. Subteczct as the Curator for the Institute’s Museum. The Museum, as of yet unnamed, will provide a home for the art of the commercial culture. “Too often these masterworks are discarded without proper analysis,” said Subteczct, his flaccid pectorals clearly visible through his silk shirt. “It is our contention that we can utterly remove any trace of joy, amusement or pleasure from the viewing experience, simply by subjecting it to intense, unrelenting scrutiny until we reel away, sickened by the truths we have beheld." He added, "If anyone feels good about themselves or this decadent culture that has produced them and their hellish, oversugared brattish spawn, I will have failed." Subteczct also noted that there will be a gift shop.

Though a European and an art lover, Subteczct is rumored to be heterosexual; area bowlers are advised to be pleasant yet curt until more is known.


COSMOPOLIS HERALD, June 13, 1973