(DOWNTOWN) Robert “Bob” Doft Johnson, respected head of the Institute of Official Cheer, announced today he is leaving a portion of his sizable fortune to endow a new library devoted to the art of advertising. "Too many pieces of art are discarded and forgotten, simply because they were attached to a commercial plea. This should not be so. Art is art. Except for that crap they make today. Big piles of rusty I-Beams are art? You need a tetanus shot just to look at that junk. And don’t start me on that Jack Pollock character. Man paints like a fish pissing, if you ask me. I say less Motherwell and more Rockwell, and that’s what the Permanent Collection of Impermanent Art will be about.”

Construction is expected to begin when workmen start digging a hole in the ground, and will be finished when it is completed.