Cudahay Curly

Frankly, a disturbed individual. Cudahy Curly the Pig pushed one product: pig. He shilled for Tang, a Spam-knockoff; for bacon, pork chops, and another iteration of his slaughtered comrades. It's not unusual to see chickens advertising dead chicken meat, or cows happily hawking ground-beef specials. But Cudahy Curly brought an unnatural zeal to the job. You can detect in some mascots a trace of ambivalence, or forced humor, but with Cudahy Curly, it was all you could do to keep him from jumping on the soapbox and demanding that more pigs be killed for his entertainment.

A cross between Richard Simmons and Jeffrey Dahmer. Adopt at your peril.