Here we have the mindset of the Thifty-American community down pat: if you’re lucky enough to have an old fashioned meat grinder. There’s something about the term that brings Joan Collins to mind, eh? Hi-yo! Yes sir! </edmcmahon voice>

And if you’re like me, you’re tired of “meat grinder” and “ammonia” showing up in every set of instructions these days.

Surely this is all one can do with the medium of hand-opered flesh-crushing machines, no? No.