These sofa cushions have been specially engineered to shoot right out from under you like Pez lozenges when you sit down. Tall people are especially uncomfortable here. Make sure you put statuettes behind the sofa, too, so guests will lean back, knock them over, and feel like clumsy brutes.

The floor pattern is based on Pierre Cardin’s DNA.

Honey, do you see those little things walking around under the table? Please tell me you do.