Ufff, indeed.

Welcome to a thick tome detailing la glorie de la Fronch food. For all I know this stuff tastes incroyable, but the photos are the most unappetizing things I’ve seen in years. And I’ve seen a lot of peculiar food.

Eggs, they say. Eggs. Really? Not Alien-fetus skulls in butterscotch sauce? Eggs? Not lumps of mashed potatoes soaked with cocoa power and dipped in gravy?

The garnish calls for a quarter-pound of bacon, so it has that going for it, but I can't shake the impression the eggs are floating in a pool of severed and shelled crab legs.

Also, they are sitting on Toast Pads. Kissing.

And then there's the severed bird head stuck in the sweet potatoes. He looks like he's rolling his eyes and wearing a beret, so it's as French as they get.