Let’s just say this is the definition of anti-kosher.

Let your next Bar-B-Que use Bar-B-Burgers for a new Bar-B-Trick - but don't let the guests watch you Bar-B-Cook lest they Bar-B-Barf. Not everyone understands this, you see. Not everyone understands that double-rich evaporated undiluted bovine excretion provides essential cohesion properties. No other form of milk will do! Don't even think about using powered wildebeest teat-leak! Drive from your mind all consideration of two-percent swine lactation!

I’ve had burgers fall apart, but never crumble. In those days days when you could get ground beef that was 50% fat; the burgers fell apart if you sneered at them. But you didn't. Because they were 50% fat. And Lord they were good. The devil is in the details but God is in the fat.