Teen fun! It’s a member of the Donald O’Connor Appreciation Society, and a gal from Future Della Streets of America!

Yes, any man can be a Manly Man with the new Dorcus line of Tite-Waist Pants. Designed to cruelly ignore your own natural contours, Tite-Waisters will force you to suck in that gut and puff up what little chest you possess. Your rib cage will hang six inches over your shoes! Your intestines will wither away into dead empty husks like the shed skin of a snake! Women wore clothes like this for decades in the age of Bustles - now it’s your turn. You’ll be so light-headed you’ll barely have time to notice that your left arm is actually touching a girl. Eew! Cooties!