Welcome to the Beauty Cont. That’s what it says on the . . . the green circle-thing with the bath curtain, and that’s what it says on the trophy. Beauty Cont. By some elaborate ruse, MISS DOOM – so named for her ability to destroy the carefully-cultivated legitimacy of beauty conts  - has used the devlish subterfuge of a hastily renamed sash to win! They should have suspected something during the talent portion, when she drained the color from the audience and made them two feet tall. (Most of which was head.)

If she is unable to fulfill her duties, the crown will pass to the runner-up, Miss Perdition.