Why, I thought women found it romantic when you smelled their eyeballs. As for Mr. Shame Clown, well, you're wearing a dress that looks like someone tried to print out one of those "Optical Illusion" websites, and the paper jammed.

For ten pages, our heroine polls all her female friends to see if they’re happy with their mates, all the while asking deep questions like “what is love?” and dating everything in pants. They’re all disappointing. Especially that fellow in the upper-right-hand corner, who tried to impress her by bending a Slim Jim. That led to six minutes of painful silence.

But then she enters the Malt Shop of Destiny. Click next . . .