The “Get Things” plan was aimed at those not swayed by more sophisticated campaigns, I’m guessing. Look what you can get! A bike, shown life size! The adorable Walking Zombie Doll! A man’s head! A piece of plumbing! An undefinable fish, possibly toxic but guaranteed mostly dead! All just for selling SALVE. Yes, only Cloverine Salve is the salve that heals burns and patches tires.

The most disturbing words on the ad?

THIS COUPON WILL BRNG RING & SALVE

Sounds like some sort of gypsy's warning.