C’mon, gang - that Austrian bastard isn’t going to shoot himself, you know. Unless he does, later, in a fit of suicidal despair. Okay, you got us there. But it’ll take pressure to make ‘em do it, and that’s the kind of pressure you can apply by selling Nazi-whupping Seed packets. Hurry up before the war’s over, and the seed jobs are all taken by throngs of demobilized soldiers!

Yes, you too can trudge along rural roads, boiling in your Sunday suit, accompanying your sister who is so crazy about that one singer on the radio it’s all she talks about. Doesn’t that make you mad? The way girls go gaga over crooners? Doesn’t it make yo want to hit something? Well, look at what we’re GIVING AWAY - croquet mallets! An axe! A big bat! A gun! A fake airplane control panel that lets you swoop down low over the school yard when everyone’s just getting out and strafe them all, except for Betsy! She seems sensible! And smart! She’s probably interested in . . . in swell things, like the Green Hornet! You could be like the Green Hornet and save her!