There's nothing more patriotic than being a torso hugged by a sailor. "No-nick chip-proof" means plastic, of course, but hey: "it's ideal for every beverage." In other words, CYLINDER IS CAPABLE OF CONTAINING FLUIDS.

You got a ten-day trial. Wonder how many people were on the fence right up until the end of day nine, and then they thought: no, these aren't for me. I'd better mail them back at the expense of my own time and money.