It's HAMMER TIME



This isn’t an ad for a particular brand - no, it’s an ad taken out by a Glass manufacturers’ trade organization, hawking a brave new paradigm in beer. The Party Quart! The White Man’s Forty!

When I was a kid I always thought there was something rather . . . passive-aggressive about “No Deposit No Return.” The first part I understood, but the second part had a vaguely threatening sound to it, as if bad things would happen if you tried to return it. You’d be thrown out the door, and a burly guy would do that little hand-dusting gesture, point at you and snarl “We said No Return, bud, and we mean it.”

Oh, finally! Booze! Sweet, wonderful, life-giving BOOZE!
I must force the gaiety that once came so easily, for the pain of the craving has long ago driven away the joy of the taste
After three party quarts I like to put on lipstick and pretend I'm Cindy Crawford. Wonder if either of these women would like to lend me a silky unmentionable