The one-room schoolhouse in the back ground: a symbol of Bicentennial Pride. Yes, those were the fine, honest days of America, where children of all age were packed in a poorly-heated room to learn things.

When I was young I didn't really know what Calico was. It was a kind of cat, but also also a fabric that was paprika-colored? Was it a pattern, or a type of cloth, you know, like Muslim?

We got a Sony Trinitron one year, and I put my head right up to the screen and squinted at the colors. It looked like the dresss on the right.