Is that a Canadian passing wind? No:


This opening makes no sense.


What? The past was more anxious than ours? Unpossible. Things have never been more nervousy! C'mon. We have the threat of . . . well, the threat-things. What are you guys worried about?

Oh, right:



War of the nuclear sort. Here is the immediate aftermath:



Looks pretty civilized to me, but looks can be deceiving. You're looking at the house owned by a guy who saw this whole clusterfarg coming down the pike, and laid away lots of supplies for himself and his daughter. Of course, after the bombs fall, they have to deal with stragglers in the form of immaculately put-together Vegas scum:



That's Mike Connors, of course - Mannix, to you. He's billed in this film as "Touch Connors." That was a nick betowed by his b-ball teammates at UCLA. His real name was Krekor Ohanian, which was much more awesome. Anyway. The world may have ended, but that doesn't mean we can't have a bathing suit scene before radiation corrupts all flesh:



In the history of appropriate post-apocalypse garments, this may be tops. Literally:



Alas, not everyone is unaffectd. Witness Mr. Peely Batterface:



He will, of course, morph into some HORRIBLE THING:



Here's the deal: this was the most horrifying movie I had ever seen as a kid. I saw it on the afternoon matinee at my grandparents' house on the farm. Didn't catch the whole thing, just the parts about the WORLD BEING OVER and the HORRIBLE THING, and it contributed mightily to ongoing nuclear nightmares for years to come. Three-eyed beasts, all cities gone, the air poisoned, no chance to grow up and be Tom Swift - these were horrible thoughts.



Now? It's laughable.



Makes me wonder what scares kids today. Whether anything does, in the same way.