That’s another bag for the trash. This week it’s seasonal stuff, never to be used again. I’m going to go through the Christmas ornaments soon. This means, in January, deciding what I will or will not want to see in a year for the inevitable small tree that will sit on the counter, on which the ornaments look overcalled. Or save the important ones for Daughter? I think so. All the ones I bought at Disneyworld.

There’s a couple I am dreading to see, to be honest. They have highly specific meanings.

I realized today why the handyman didn’t always respond immediately to his name when called: the guy working with him was his twin. I don’t know why it took us this long to find out. Yes, we did marvel at the speed with which the handyman seemed to work, and how it was odd that he would go upstairs then emerge from the basement steps, but now all is explained.

They were carrying out the bidding of the Realtor Recommendations, which meant replacing two ceiling fans with light fixtures. The realtors were indifferent about the bathroom light fixtures, but Current Wife was intent on replacing them, since the finish had pitted. They also replaced an ugly laundry room basin, scarred by use and somewhat yellowed with age. I’d been trying to find a replacement for a long time, taking the measurements to the store, looking at options, and then forgetting about it, not thinking that Wife would not forget about it and regard my lack of tub-related follow-through as typical. And I suppose it was. So here we are! Ha ha. ANYWAY. I did many online searches, and one brand kept coming up. MASSENEE or something like that. Last week I noticed there was a name on the tub:

UTILATUB 20

Huh. That was 25 years ago. Wonder what the search brings today?

UTILATUB 20, made by MASSENEE

Oh. Okay! Had it shipped, it appeared in days. It’s in place now. Also fixed: the downstairs pantry doors were slightly shaved, so they don’t fight the carpet. This had not been a problem for me, as I just used a little more strength to open them, but you don’t want prospective buyers poking around and trying everything and thinking “oh I’d be absolutely worn out if I did that repeatedly over the course of two hours,” so it was shaved. Some of Daughter’s drawers were fixed - they had a tendency to slip from their rollers, as the unit had expanded over the years. I had inserted shims to solve the issue best as I could, not knowing what else to do. CALL SOMEONE was of course the answer, but I never knew who to call. Until Uncle Realtor gave us the name of the Giant Handy Twins, it was a matter of calling Angi’s List and getting some guy who charged $250 to look at the job, because he’d been charged $217.49 to get the reference from Angi’s List. More or less. I had a guy tell me that when it came to repairs for the Oak Island Water Feature. Dang: I click a few things on a website and some guy I never met is incrementally poorer.

Anyway. After all this I walked the dog, who was very good and did not bite either twin, although I wonder what we would’ve thought if he’d bitten Twin #1 upstairs and we heard Twin #2 downstairs yelp. I decided I should also snowblow, since we got a light fluffy inch. If people walk on it, the snow compacts into dense foot-shaped drifts, and we can’t have that. We want bare naked pavement showing its face to the sun. I did not fall, but managed to do another WHOA CRAP YIKES WHEW dance that reignited the sluice of cold mercury running from kidney to thigh, BUT, on the other hand, I made a good Italian supper for Current with San Marzano tomatoes and a hint of smoked moz, so, all in all, I'd put this day in the win category. Inasmuch as the final score was decided before I woke.

Look, I'm just being realistic.

There have been worse Mondays, though. So I'm grateful for that.

It’s 1927.

They did love their big disembodied eyes. Especially with VISION RAYS.

They were sold in 2014, I believe. A picture of their Industrial Engraving facility, here.

Distract your chaperone with this peppy rag:

“Her reaction was G-6.” Now there’s some slang I’ve never heard. I can’t find a thing.

Could be both:

Text:

If you are a good soldier, you take orders from the major. But there is a great deal of difference whether you find the training an irksome routine or an enjoyable development.

When you follow the right major in your course, the work can become vitally interesting, and your college career will be more worthwhile.

"But what is my right line of work?," may be a puzzling question. All the thought you can give to finding the answer will be fully repaid. Analyze yourself and you will surely discover your natural aptitude.

And when you've found what line you feel you ought to follow, stick to it. Stand by your major and your major will stand by you.

What the hell does this have to do with books or telephones

It’s Viva-Tonal: Like Life itself. You cannot tell the difference between the sound of a band with a singer and the sound that emerges from this machine.

Which, of course, is nonsense. But hey.

It’s nice that they include the serial number for the records. Makes them easier to find, since the people who put such things up on YouTube are anal-retentive enough to include the numbers.

I wonder when the phrase “Brooklyn’s Greatest Piano Sale” was used for the final time.

Sterling was a good name when I was a kid, and we had one - but it must have been one of the last, because the company folded in 1967.

In half a century they’d be advertised by Joe Friday. And then he’d dump them for Chesterfield and the brand would complete its long decline.

The proud centerpiece of an upper-middle-class home, a signifier of taste and security.

The Radialo. We’ve discussed the OLA suffix before, right? High-tech signifier. Class and American ingenuity combine to bestow OLA status.

No batteries! Just plug it in. To what? Your lighting circuit.

I assume it was called that because there wasn’t much else into which you could stick a plug.

What an odd machine. But it’s sold with radiotrons! (That means tubes.)

Where’s the speaker?

I think this ad explains:

It’s across the room.

That will do. Still working through the Quasicomics! Today we vanguish constipation and secure gainful employment.