Short week, and all the better for it. There were a few things I forgot to mention, probably because they reflect poorly on me, although I can’t see how. (Those are always the worst, because you’re sure they do, and you ought to see it.) Both came from the State Fair, and made me wonder if I had lost the ability to interact with human beings over this long stretch of isolation.

And it’s still isolation, in many ways; I still go to work in an empty office, and I still don’t see many people besides my wife, or neighbors who may be sitting out front while I walk Birch. Yes, we stop and talk, because it’s a good, solid neighborhood. It’s always been so.

Anyway. At the Fair I stopped by the barns to look at some beasts; most were gone. There was a stand that produced fantastic signage for farms and barns - big metal signs with the family name in great typefaces, colorful pictures of idealized rural settings. One of the owners was there, and I asked where they got all these wonderful typefaces.

“Oh, lots of places.”

“I see some Letterhead fonts."

“Yep, we use those.”

“And this one - it’s a House font, isn’t it?

“Yep.”

Okay, I’ll go now. I felt foolish. I wanted to talk typefaces and I guess the Fair wasn’t the place. Last day, probably tired, some guy comes up and wants to show off, who needs it. But I never get to talk about typefaces. (Sad pouty emoticon)

The other was at the Grandstand, where I went looking for a guy who is always there, hawking something. I have video from ten years ago. He’s hawking a mop. Aussie accent. Big shock of hair. Five years later he pops up in the Merchandise Mart, hawking Sham-Wows or whatever those were. I am fascinated by professional pitchmen, and wondered if he rode a circuit. Hey - that’s him! Selling an over-the-air TV antennae! He was talking to some people who were effusive about how much they loved their unit. Plants, perhaps. He asked if I had any questions, and I said yes, about you - I’ve seen you here for years. You were over there in 2011. (Pointing.) I’m thinking I can have him on the stage for the show I was going to do in an hour, let him tell his story.

He says yes, he was there, selling mops. And he was selling Sham-Wows back over there.

I remembered the accent, I said. I always stopped to listen and watch.

He turned away to two people who had paused to look at the demonstration unit of the antennae, and started talking to them. Well. Okay then! Let’s pretend to look at something, then nonchalantly just wander off.

Again, he was working, but he was chatting with people who’d already bought the thing when I walked up.

Again, last day of the Fair. But it was one of those days where you think “do I have a huge open chancre on my forehead?”

Well, let's restore our self-image by mocking things that cannot answer back. What's in the detritus folder for this week? What did I snip for no reason other than it annoyed me?

   
 

You'll have to click to find out! And you will, right? I mean, with an incentive like this, aren't you almost crawling with curiousity?

 

   
  It's odd how this forumulation - now many years old - makes me want to take a baseball bat to everyone involved.
   

Really. A murderous rage wells up. First of all, am I supposed to think they went around "editing" these "historic photos" to sanitize them, because they were such prudes in the old days? Look closer at this one! Not edited! You can see the faint outline of nipples! You'll click because you're 12! Or 63!

The other thing that produces a firehose of bile: there's nothing to see.

Anyone talked to the guys at Worldemand lately? The last time I called there was a scream and something that sounded like gunfire, and then the line went dead. Did they cross a line? Did they finally go public with all that forbidden information?

Use the small red straw as a catheter, and pass those kidney stones more easily?

YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT! IT IS THE WISDOM OF THE ANCIENTS! IT MUST BE EARNED!

I'd actually click on a story called "Ten Unusual WD-40 Applications."

Remember the game from last week, the one where you had to play if you were over 50?

I'll show them, said the rebellious 39 year old. I'll show everyone!

Underscore Senior was playing at the VFW club the other day.

This link just goes to "Car Novels" and has nothing about dated trends.

Here's the shite you can expect from "CarNovels."

   
 

"Finds out something disturbing."

 

   

Certainly can't tell what it is from the picture. Let's read the 48 page story, with six phonemes on each page and 137 ads with 2,404 cookies.

This makes me believe in Dead Internet Theory, but since I'm not, and I know this page is new, the theory doesn't hold.

And by "New" I mean a tweaked reiteration of all the Fridays before.

 

The skyway view, because it was too damned cold to take the usual picture from down the street.

Computer, enhance:

They spent some time figuring out the exact ratios and design of the skin, he said, kindly.

Here's context, from Washington Avenue.

The sweep de week:

The Thrivent Apartments. I'm not happy about losing this view.

Annnnd the building I forgot to do, because it's on the edge of downtown, outside of my walk route. The Eleven.

It's the most New Yorky thing we've had since the Rand.

 

Who the hell is Miss Lynn?

 

Did she get rid of Lori? Did Lance dump Lori and choose another reporter?

Solution is here.

 

 

As I'm sure I've mentioned, I'm quite fond of Lum & Abner, a gentle and timeless show about two old codgers who run a rural grocery store. It ran forever, spanning the 30s and 50s.

I am also fascinated, in a train-wreck sort of way, by shows that make catastrophically wrong decisions, and this was one of the biggest.

   

 

Let's shake it up! someone thought. Instead of 11 minute daily visits, stretch it out to 25, add musical routines, and a live audience that completely destroys the illusion that we're eavesdropping on the doings at the Jot 'Em Down store.

 

 

   

It was a disaster. It just laid there. The long ongoing story arcs were replaced by one-offs, the interaction with the advertising shill was forced, and all the old charm was gone. Wikipedia:

The new format was unpopular and the series came off the air in 1950. Lauck and Goff experimented with other formats during the hiatus, finally changing back to a 15-minute, Monday-Friday show on ABC in 1953, but the revived show was discontinued the following year due to competition from television and Goff's failing health.

The duo twice made attempts to transition to television, but neither effort was picked up by a television network.

The 1953 shows pick up as if nothing have happened, except that they recycled some script ideas. It was almost indistinguishable from the shows of the 40s, but something wasn't there. I can't put my finger on it, except to say: the time had come and gone.

I suspect this might not be a contemporary recording.

 
   
Of course it's not. A reissue. You can't go wrong with this artist and this song.
   

 

   
1975: It's True (Paul Harvey pause) value!
   

   
  That will do, except for another Gallery update. Surely you notice that the Gallery got a huge amount of new material this year. Twenty-plus years and still update? Has to be up there in the top 20 Internet Long Time Things.
   

 

 

 

 
blog comments powered by Disqus