From Shorpy

 

 

We were supposed to get 10 inches of snow. It was supposed to start at midnight. Nothing happened. Daughter had high hopes for a snow day, though. It could snow all night, and we could wake in the morn to an impassible world of monochromatic delight. So I get up and go to her room to wake her up in the morning, and break the bad news: it hardly snowed at all - and she’s sitting fully dressed in her bed with her arms folded an a grumpy-cat expression. The weather had failed her so much.

But maybe it would snow later! It was supposed to start snowing again at 5 PM! Maybe now it would snow a lot and there wouldn’t be school. Snow day! Snow day!

Nothing at five. Nothing now before I post. I’ll update throughout the Bleat as I peck away at this thing. Column to write.

UPDATE: Snowing.

LATER

The ice maker, which was broken, then fixed, is broken again. I wonder if the fridge is trying to make ice, and failing; periodically, in the silence of the house, the water-pressure booster downstairs turns on for three seconds. There’s no reason for that. It’s unnerving. The sound comes from downstairs, deep in the recesses of the house. Something is amiss.

You wait for it to start again. Then you’re dismayed when it starts. It stops. The same length as before. But was the interval longer? I get out the stopwatch app and time it. I disable the EXPRESS feature on the ice-cube maker, which supposedly tells the fridge to hurry the hell up and make some cubes. I had it activated for an hour and a half, during which it made zero (0) ice cubes.

Ah: 1:11 seconds between pressure-booster activation. Reset the stopwatch. Absolute silence in the house; can almost hear the snow falling outside.

Whatever this is, it means money.

52 seconds . . . 62 seconds . . .

1:11 seconds exactly.

Something in the house is calling for water every 1:11 seconds.

I have now disabled the ice maker entirely.

Waiting . . .

Waiting . . .

Damn.

I’d better put on headphones, then.

Went outside to see if there was any moisture around a burst regulating device that controls the sprinkler system. Why? Oh, no reason, except that it burst, because I forgot to shut it off and things froze and boom, $XX dollars come spring, hey nonny nonny. Snapped a picture of March in its early, serious "Don't even think about Spring, sucker" phase.

 

 

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Two proposals for a Brooklyn redevelopment project. Here is the one everyone hated.

 


Here is the new one from a “hot” architectural firm with a clever name, SHoP.

 


I think the “o” is lower case because people look at the drawings and say “oh” a small, strangled voice.

The buildings on the left appear to be spelling out NO. The building on the far left looks like it’s wearing a cast. The big one with the hole in the middle is this decade’s example of a big building with a hole in the middle. The entire thing looks like a Google doodle.

What’s the problem with the first one? I’m sure it underwhelmed people who wanted something with a hole in the middle, or didn’t like the size, or something. But look at what it does. The entire plan is oriented around the Domino sugar factory, the “historic” old brick structure in the middle. To mitigate the size of the project, the lower half has the hues (and maybe the materials) of the factory, which creates a faux skyline profile. Then there’s another profile on top of that, in glass. They’re never as transparent as they look in the renderings, but I get it.

I'm not crazy about either, but I like the first one better.

 

   

   

 

   
   

 

 

The weekly look at products of the past, to learn things about our culture, and usually things that we've forgotten. Possibly for good reasons.

ELMER IS LATE

 

 

Elmer, for all his bluster, is barely competent in any of the roles he’s been asked to fill. Here he’s a bad war worker.

Why is Ed Wynn wearing kingly rainments? The show was called “Happy Island,” and he played King Bubbles. He insisted on doing the show in costume, too. With sets. On radio. It lasted six months. I don’t know why it was cancelled, with ads like this:

 

 

Elmer was upset when he came in the room and found his wife with Ed Wynn. She replied, in a big headline, that Elmer had lots of things going for him.

 

 

Oh that Ed. Such a caution! With his giggling and bubbles and puns. He ended up a pretty fair dramatic actor, and his mannerism and tics were borrowed for 70s Sid & Marty Kroft productions, and if he's known at all know it's because someone stumbles on an old YouTube commercial for a Tootsie Roll or something. He was beloved, though, and managed something neat: a clown without the paint. Without even the suggestion of it.

 

AKA THE THERMOS

With a name like "Aladdin," naturally you'd chose a pigtailed coolie as your mascot. Naturally.

 

 

We all just call them a"Thermos" now, don't we?

 

ONCE UPON A TIME: WAX DUTY

 

One of the things I recall from dim recesses of early childhood: don’t come in here, I just waxed the floor. Once the floor was waxed and shiny, it would suffer Scuffs, and after a period of time waxing would commence again. This led to Wax Build-Up.

 

Johnson’s Wax was a big player - still is, with sales of almost 8 billion - and a regular feature in the old-time radio show, Fibber McGee and Molly. Harlow Wilcox, later the pitchman for Autolite on Suspense, was written into the show, so they never took actual sponsor breaks. Harlow wandered into the plot and found a reason to bring up wax. The spots mocked themselves; Wilcox’s language and wax obsession were risible, but that was intentional. “Kid the pitch, not the product” was the theory, and Wilcox did it better than anyone.

Pep’ridge Fahm remembers how you did floors:

Johnson’s Wax was a big player - still is, with sales of almost 8 billion - and a regular feature in the old-time radio show, Fibber McGee and Molly. Harlow Wilcox, later the pitchman for Autolite on Suspense, was written into the show, so they never took actual sponsor breaks. Harlow wandered into the plot and found a reason to bring up wax. The spots mocked themselves; Wilcox’s language and wax obsession were risible, but that was intentional. “Kid the pitch, not the product” was the theory, and Wilcox did it better than anyone. Pep’ridge Fahm remembers how you did floors:

 

 

Nice little animated spot:

 

 

Simonize is now something some guys do their cars. Floors are no longer waxed, I think.

 

WHAT IS THIS RABBIT DOING

 

 

She's announcing Apple Flavored Jell-O. The first such example you can use to delight your family:

 

 

Or not. Shiny trappled blurgh:

 

 

 

They didn't last long. Cute little bunnies, but alas, they didn't move the Jell-o.

You know, I've noted some resurgence in Regrettable Food-type stories here and there; a WSJ piece on someone who makes 50s food from the recipe books, some other story about a collector. There's always someone in the comments who mentions the Gallery of Regrettable Food and the book.

Thank you.

 

 

PRODUCTS WHOSE EXISTENCE AND PURPOSE WAS UNCLEAR AND CONFUSING

 

 

Okay.

 

BIDDLE ABOUT, BIDDLE ABOUT

 

This one made me laugh, and not just because it’s the most cliched drawing of a socialite with the most cliched hoity-toity name you can imagine:

 

No, it’s the name. Biddle. Flagg Biddle, which is even better. Remember the Mayflower Madam? Sydney Biddles Barrow. She ran call girls, and was noted for having a Good Family Name. Has to be the same family; can’t be that many horsey snooty Biddles about. I interviewed her once on my radio show back at KSTP, when I was doing drive time and hence did things like “Interview people.” Back when I had a producer. Ah, what fun: someone else makes all the calls, a guest drops into the studio, you crack the mike and you’re off.

 

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Anyway. 1:11. It doesn't stop. It's torture. Updates tomorrow - but today, of course, there's the Strib blog and tumblr and twitter and so on and so forth. See you around, and have a grand day.

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
     
 
   
 
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