It's a Hiatus Week, but that doesn't mean there's nothing here. For your entertainment, a few pages from the golden age of do-it-yourself decorations.

This heartwarming object reminds kids of the story of Haffy the Dog, who asked Santa for hips and a set of legs on the other side. He always toppled over when he tried to stand up. Then one night Santa came to him and said "I'm normally broad-minded on these matters, but you are an abomination that mocks the nobility of Life itself." It's not a cheerful story, but kids need to learn that Santa has standards. He's not a pushover.

Like Haffy, for instance. More like a fallover, really.

Lincoln-hat Hellclown commands you to drink in the essence of his chakras! Stare, and drink deeply! Deeeeply!

Also for your holiday entertainment, if you haven't heard it yet:

The Diner. Here, or below.