Not . . .
a good day. Not at all. Wednesday is shaping up to be another round of keister-kicking, too.
Man.
Well.
The least bad part was my daughter’s reaction to my new glasses, and it was full of horrors and tears; I would have made her happier if I’d come home in a gore-smeared hockey mask. It’s like you’re not you. Well, yes, there’s that. They’re too big. My wife liked them. Me, I think I like them; after today, I’m not sure who the hell is in the mirror, but he looks 12% hipper than the last iteration. You can find them tomorrow on Newsbreak – no pix here, because self-shot shots always make your nose look Durante-sized.
When I got them I wandered around the mall, confused. Certain things were clearer. Much clearer. Sharp and lovely. On the other hand, I had the impression I was walking on a sheet of glass over the Grand Canyon; HOLY VERTIGO BATMAN.
Yes Robin. The unnerving sensation of losing one’s balance over a yawning chasm.
HOLY PEDANTIC DEFINITION, BATMAN!
Yes Robin. And that can only mean we are up against the arch-fiend . . . I’m sorry, who’s up in the rotation? Or have we invented an arch-fiend to accommodate a pop-culture figure whose agent got him on the show?
(fist smack) It’s got to be one or the other, Batman.
Yes Robin I know.
HOLY DISTENDED FACIAL SACS, it’s the Dizzler, played by Dizzy Gillespie.
(ruminatively) Yes . . . yes of course. The Duke of Disorientation. The Lord of Lack of Balance. Hook up the Dramamine Dispersal Unit to the Batmobile! Then, to the Batmobile!
HOLY INTERNAL COMBUS-
Stop it, chum. It’s annoying.
Anyway. Like that. Afterwards I went to eat a meager meal at Zantigos, which I cannot get enough of. Once a week. I try something different every time; today I went for something they call a “taco.” Crisp and fresh. The green chili burrito gave me head-sweats, so when I walked outside my scalp froze. There I stood, head still spinning from the day, eyes swimming from the glasses, skull covered with a light glaze of chili-sweat. Nothing to do but get in the car and go find some rye.
For later. For later in the week. I had read some recent praise of rye, and was curious; alas, the local store was out – because, as the clerk explained, rye is now hip. Sigh. Well. I left without buying anything, and that earned a curious look from the clerk: surely everyone who comes into a liquor store buys something. No one buys nothing. They come in for hooch; it’s just a question of the form.
Got home, showed face to family. Wife loved the new glasses; child, as noted, was disturbed. But this passed over the course of the night, and by the end of the day she regarded me as the Same Old Dad again and wanted to talk about the book she was reading. Some cats were having a war against other cats, who were using biological compounds to make them hemorrhage. A bit different from “Tom Swift and his Amazing Wonderful Future- Bringing Thing,” eh? We talked about the book until she fell asleep, Jasper sighing on the end of the bed with that great disappointed gust dogs sometimes emit. Dogs don’t yawn because they’re tired, but they do sigh because they’re resigned. It would be apt if this was the one expression we shared with dogs.
Then I wrote a piece of music to be used as way-deep-back-background for a cooking video. About creampuffs. They wanted something tinkly and busy to underscore the actions of cooking, something not to be listened to, but dimly heard. Since I used the movie-soundtrack function of iMovie I couldn’t snap to the beat, and so it’s not as crisp and perfect as I would like – but as I said, it’s deep background. I give you a link for one reason: around 2:20 I dumped the whole frickin’ day into a cello figure. Pouring out my heart! For creampuffs!
It’s all a repeat after that, more or less. I had to redo the main melody because I realize I had copied the “Masterpiece Theater” theme. I think.
Oh: Black and White world isn’t to everyone’s tastes, I know; like so many things, another tiny tunnel down which I go expecting company. But this week I deal with America’s version of Metropolis. Really. I’ll give you a still of the title card:
Here’s a brief clip. I mean: geezum crow. Wow.
Black and White World can be found HERE. Later: Out of Context Ad Challenge! See you in a bit. Also, shoot me now.
Pass it along, if you wish
74 Responses to Wed. Ugh. Feb. Ten.
Host with the Most
YouTube has a clip that is all 109 “HOLY” iterations by Burt Ward from the first season of “Batman”. FYI
Only the second comment on Cream Puff Symphony! I *liked* the figure at 2.20, synthesised though it be. You’ve just proven what Jack Benny used to say — “There’s ALWAYS room for Cell-O!”
Cream Puff music, Does anyone ever think about the things they ask you to do? “James, write us about 3 minutes of music, something creampuff like, you know, not intrusive, just background. We need it by 2. And while you’re at it could you deal with the cold fusion problem?”
Well done.
The only problem with those little airplanes:ignoring the physics of flight. Those aircraft would be bumping each other out of the sky. Simple things like airflow dynamics and Newtons laws of motion were completely left out of that film.
Oh! Oh! How to make cream puffs! I know this one! You send your kids to be educated by the commie-rat-bastardos of the public school system
Like, the kids only play the tug of peace, everybody hits a home run, no scores are kept, ad nauseum. All for the sake of their precious self-es,es,esteeeem 
Why, I tells ya, In My day…wha? Oh, fine, then. I’ll go back to my room and lock the door! Let ‘em call in an air strike! When I’m gone, you’ll all be sad, so there.
Max Headroom sure got it right with the tube/network that you could never turn off – it knows your every movement . . .
funny, fizzbin
Am I the only one who thought James was talking about bread when he mentioned “rye?” heh
A plethora of topix today!
Spex – I’ve worn them since 1977. Just got progressives last month. Easy to adjust to except for walking outside in the snow. I think I will get a pince-nez before I need another pair of spex so I’ll have the frame at the ready.
Slivovitz is too authentic for the hipster set. At least the price should remain stable (although it’s a better deal to make yer own).
How’s about this for an unanticipated tech: this morning I listened to a private FM station that was available only in my car. It carried programs that were specific to my interests. It even paused the broadcast when I wanted. I have a hunch I’ll be listening to old and new Diner and Radio Derb podcasts on my commute for a while.
James, I think this is the guy you’re looking for: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_Vertigo
Your glasses are great–nice choice. The person who helped you did right by you. I got progressives for the first time (hello 42) last year and the first few days were not fun. That paired with lenses that aren’t very “tall” gives you a reeeeally tiny viewing window. Now, love ‘em.
@Jennifer: So where are you seeing Mr. Lileks new glasses?
@GardenStater:
Well, if someone had shown me a movie back in 1973, and it showed people carrying computers in their pockets, being able to watch a movie on them and then click on a screen to get the biography of the actor who played “3rd man from the left,” and then call a friend on that same tiny computer, and send him driving directions and then use that same computer to make a reservation at a restaurant…
I would have said “Yea, sure. No way.”
Hand held computers doing all sorts of amazing things?
No, that I would have imagined. It’s all those flying cars and ONLY 37 years in the future that I have a problem with. I can even imagine that all those flying cars just may be true in the future. Just not 37 or 50 or maybe even 100 years from now, but someday.
The grille on your GMC truck looks a lot like one of the Union Pacific streamliners – http://www.lib.niu.edu/2008/iht08150127-2.jpg – or vice versa.
Except the truck has a wonky left eye.
_@_v – movie link is here…
http://lileks.com/bw/30s/imagine/index.html
I enjoyed Cream Puff Symphony very much. As I was listening, I was watching some of the guys in the shop working on the new rocket engine and the music fit very well. Thanks for the ear-candy
I played cello as well as piano, once upon a time before arthritis.
Was there an actual movement in the 20s and thirties to make the BellHop Jacket an uberhip piece of general evening wear? Between this Photo Essay and Luarie and Frys interpretation of Wodehouse’s Wooster, I’m starting to become confused.
I thought only the band, and other hired help one might TIP wore the short coat.
My typically happy-go-lucky dog sometimes lets out a sigh that makes me wonder if I should get him that medication that they advertise with the uncanny little wind-up doll; or perhaps I have failed him somehow?
Cf. <a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=300
That clip of all the airplanes flying in lines–I saw that in the last 2 or 3 Star Wars movies. Couldn’t buy it there, either.
I didn’t know Rye was hip, but I do agree with everything Sean said at 8:56 am. In my parts, you are lucky to find a bar with rye on hand. While most bartenders know how to make a Manhattan or Old Fashioned, you will usually get a blank stare when asking for a Sazerac. Which really sucks as a properly made Sazerac is probably my favorite cocktail, if I had to choose just one. Unfortunately it requires two ingredients (3 if you count the Rye) that are generally fairly obscure, i.e. absinthe and Peychaud’s bitters. With the gov’t lifting their ban on manufacturing and importing of absinthe, that will hopefully change at some point. Sure you can always use a pastis, but its not the same.
I’m still a bit intrigued by the hemmorhaging cats. Yes, I could spell it properly, but I can’t be arsed right now. Anyway, WHAT book is this? That seems like material that’s a bit harsh for an eight-year-old.
Speaking of hip rye: Two buddies and I had an outing last Saturday to Tuthilltown Spirits, the first legal distillery in NY State since Prohibition. A nice tour, followed by a tasting. I picked up a nice bottle of “New York Whiskey,” smooth but obscenely expensive. James would love the label.
THE NEW GLASSES: http://www.startribune.com/video/?elr=KArks5PhDcU9PhDcU9PhDcU5PhDcoO4ME5U&p=1&show=40365512
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