Laxatives, because J. Edger scares the you-know-what out of me.

Commiegone! The miracle Red Remover of the mid-twentieth century!

(Contains 80% alcohol by volume.)

Dictaphone – even if you’re not a great dictator, it can be handy to have a record of what someone said in his own voice.

The Peter Lorre School of infamous transvestite impersonators. “Mercy!”
(Yes I know it’s anachronistic.)

Women’s underwear. No, wait, that can’t be right. A correspondence course to become a G-man?

Hoover Tonic?

_@_v – my name might be hoover but the new dysan vacuum cleaner is the best!

NOT going quail hunting with Dick Cheney? (I mean, I’m all for shading and nuance but that’s a little disconcerting.)

Warren :Commiegone! The miracle Red Remover of the mid-twentieth century!
(Contains 80% alcohol by volume.)

And the alcohol is good ole American bourbon, none of that Russki vodka

_@_v – maybe i WANT you to disbelieve the warren commission report…

J. Edgar Hoover for FBI Home Security!

It’s Hoover. Some kind of security’s too straightforward…gotta be Wheaties, “Dependability” watches or sumpin’…

Please, dear Lord, not Maidenform!

Captured! Have fun fingerprinting yourself and your friends with your Super G-Man fingerprinting set.