Paging Mr. Lightoller
Busy night Thursday, with deadlines and child-rearing (wife at Bunco – no longer means Chuck E. Cheese, and it doesn’t even mean I have to hover over Toddler waiting for her to topple and crack her skull on a table. But there were some issues, which I’ll address later) and the whole employer-going-bankrupt thing. I kept waiting for the phone to ring, to see if I’d be called in to handle Emergency Procedures – as I understand it, we have a smaller, more maneuverable paper in the basement, and in an emergency it can be launched with a skeleton crew.
Turns out I wasn’t needed. Or so I infer. Well, see you all at the Collapsable on B Deck!
Just kidding. The ship isn’t heading for the bottom. Robert Ballard will not narrate murky footage of our newsroom, discovered after 70 years at the bottom of the information sea. And I say that as someone with no knowledge of what the hell is going on, so don’t quote me, but we have the brand, we have the hits. Something will come out of this, and if I have to hang on to the conning tower while it goes under for a while, well, it worked for Indiana Jones in the first movie. Lesson: hold your breath.
I’ve been at the paper for 12 years. I’ve been nervous about my job for 11. We were bought shortly after I started, and I still remember the casual remark of a co-worker after the purchase was announced: last hired, first fired. Oh, THANKS. For some odd reason I’ve just felt the tremulous emanations of DOOM surround the industry since I was in DC, working in a national bureau for a chain – the papers that came across my desk were butt-ugly and dorktastic, and even though the web was AOL and little else, you could hear the clanging of swords being forged in distant Mordor. Naturally, I concluded that I should look into working with Mordor. Turns out it’s an all-volunteer force. Fine. Signed up anyway.
About four years ago I remember telling a co-worker that I was proposing a metric crapload of new stuff to do so they wouldn’t fire me when the headsman got busy. He smiled and said “they don’t fire people.” This comment drew a raised eyebrow from the burly bullet-headed copy-editor next to me, a real old-line newspaperman whose voice made Lee Marvin sound like Tiny Tim. Now and then he would tell me, in a hushed growl, that the Future would crash down on this place without mercy. He took the first buyout.
So did the fellow who said they didn’t fire people.
I’m not saying “I’m a survivor,” like some chirpy fool appearing on a Richard Simmons infomercial about Dealing With Pudding Addiction – no. I just mean that I’ve factored CHANGE into my job for almost as long as I’ve had it, and practiced the march to the scaffold so I didn’t trip on the steps. The worst thing that could happen? The paper goes away, and takes so damned much history with it. It’s almost like ret-conning an entire town. But I don’t think that will happen. Could I get taken out back by the hairs on the nape of my neck and shot? Sure. I hope it doesn’t happen. I don’t want it to happen. If it does, then things change, and I do something else.
What counts is enjoying life, and I’m gradually getting better at that. In a way this week is like the week back in ’07 when the hammer came down for the first time. I had no idea what was ahead, but I was pretty sure I’d be out. I went to Disneyworld. I felt free. Never forgot how that felt, and like any near-death experience, it changes the way you look at things.
In any case: here’s the paper. Scroll down; look for a small icon that resembles your host; click and read.
Thank you! That helps.
23 Responses to “Paging Mr. Lightoller”
140 or less
- This entire day has felt like trying to assemble Ikea furniture in the dark with a flat-bladed screwdriver. 4 hours ago
- Photo: Oh, you smooth talker. http://tumblr.com/xzqhzkbqk 12 hours ago
- They wanted to charge me for sanding; my response was "you're going to eat this; only question is whether you want fries with that." 12 hours ago
- After a year of tsuris, I get a new dishwasher from Best Buy. It's 1/4" too wide. Cabinets have to be sanded. I could strangle puppies. 12 hours ago
- The day is sunny but cool - all treble, no bass. 14 hours ago
So You Said
- Dave (in MA) on Wrong Ain’t Got A Chance
- chrisbcritter on Wrong Ain’t Got A Chance
- Jenny on Ah, there you are
- MJBirch on Ah, there you are
- Hal on Ah, there you are
Click & Save!
Your host, elsewhere
This Month
Month by Month
Books I Like
Host with the Most
James, at the risk of exposing myself as a wingnut loon (guilty!), can I just urge you to hang on, by the fingernails if necessary, until Tuesday when Captain Present takes control of the world? I’m told there will be lots of Hope and Change that day, and some sort of Unicorn-fart driven Utopia that will take care of all our job problems.
I, for one, can’t wait.
Hi James,
Not to sound like a jack*ss, but my understanding is that you are in a two-income marriage? My point is that we (i.e. most poeple in the western world) are not likely to ever face the same stress that our grandfathers would have had to face on daily basis…the dread of the entire family’s survival on our shoulders. The absolute nightmare of coming home from the factory, laid off, and facing a spouse with the horrible news…Daddy’s going to be monopolizing the TV during the day for a while.
Even if umemployment surges to double digits in the coming year(s), odds are that the vast majority of poeple will still have one income at least. Add to that the social safety netty thing, and unemployment for the most part for us, the Greatest Beneficiary Generation, is just an administrative ordeal to be muddled through for a few months.
Love the Coffee and Chrome update (and American Motel, etc). Just a thought…is it doable to allow comments on those sites. Some poeple think they’re funny and would like to share thier dry wit with others.
there will always be newspapers, for what else would the fish-monger wrap the fish in? cat-6 cables? icky-pic fiber? let’s hope the wail $treet weasels haven’t bled the thing too far with their buy and sell shenanigans.
[...] writer and designated blogger James Lileks offers some quick ground-floor commentary on the [...]
Hang in there! There’ll always be a bucket for you somewhere, if not at the Strib, then somewhere else at least as desirable if not moreso.
Minor tweak request: links previously opened in new windows, no longer do so. Is that a bug or a feature?
Besides the humor, a big reasons all of us come here and to the other Lilek-branded venues is because he is an innovator. People like that may face lay offs, but will will eventually end up in a better position than ever before.
Love what you had to say up there, James, about two-income families. I hadn’t done that math, but gees, you’re right.
I retired from a career as feature writer/copy editor for weeklies and trades. The current downturn actually led to me being called back into action by my most recent past employer on a part-time contract basis because they had to cut a couple of full-timers.
I wonder if this will be a trend, with retired folks who no longer need expensive benefit packages being called upon to fill the gap.
No, you don’t sound like a jackass at all. And I like the term Greatest Beneficiary Generation. The GBGs. How to pronounce? Gee-Bigs? Jeebie-gees?
James, you will always do well, because you have talent, and waiting consumers wanting and willing to appreciate it. In 07 when you went to Disneyworld I was almost right behind you. In 2005 the Company that I’ve worked with for 10 years was sold (we’re going to be bigger and better!) to a franchiser who then sold it to someone that had no experience in the Industry. What could go wrong? The company was overvalued by the franchiser (by DOUBLE!) and they changed our brand and all of the processes that had made us the one of the most successful Agencies in the state. And loaded the new owner up with a bucketload of oppressive new debt. Turns out it was all a Ponzi scheme writ large. I’ve always had side work through my own business, and when it all fell apart in September of 08, I was nervous, but ready. I actually had more work than I could handle. The owner of the company was released from the franchise agreement, owns the prior brand name, and has opened back up with a single regional location instead of 20, and is gearing everything towards the web. I am back as a consultant, at more than my old salary, for fewer hours, and still trying to get other customers taken care of. You’re right – maybe it’s the late fatherhood thing that forces you to try to enjoy life. My focus is to continue to do good work, make the best out of what life brings, and enjoy my wife and kids. Somehow knowing that you have the ability to control something that is seemingly uncontrollable (life) makes you appreciate the things that come at you.
By the way – I’m ready to subscribe to the premium Lileks.com product when you’re ready to roll it out!
I spent 30-odd years worrying about having a job, and you know what? Even when I got laid off, or had to move to a different state (which happened frequently because of Mr. H’s job), the worst never happened. Our brains fasten on the next coming Doom, but somehow we always muddle through.
Now, I have to go and worry about The One taking away my Social Security.
What can I do but agree with the others?
You’ve got a product people want, the market is there, all that (may) change is your distribution channel, which, while it will undoubtably be annoying shouldn’t be catastrophic.
Being past 45 I’ve had contigency plans laid out for years, just in case.
[...] January 16, 2009 in Blogs I Read | Tags: Lileks If the Twin Cities’ largest paper can go to Chapter 11, can the Journal Sentinel be far behind? Possibly. If you read blogs, you know that James Lileks of the Bleat works there. You can read his take on the matter here. [...]
James,
If the Trib ever does take the last dive, see if you can get the archives in lieu of severance pay.
You may be broke, but you’d be enjoying yourself for years….
Is Disney hiring?
I am not worried for James either, I bet Roger Simon already has a place penciled in for him.
Hard to have any feelings for papers, never really was a regular reader, as a kid it would have been a luxury item and as I got older I was always struck by the fact that every time I had first hand/eyewitness knowledge of an event, the newspapers got it all wrong.
I think radio is ideal for local news because of the portability and its ability to make instant updates and corrections.
I think if the local paper went bankrupt, I would have more sympathy than Carrie Nation would have for a distillery closing down but, on the whole, indifferent.
Your post brought to mind the feeling you can have (if you let it!) when you go on a long (week) vacation. The thought keeps coming up in the back of your mind – can they learn to do without me? Will others pick up the slack and I’m considered expendable? Is what I’m doing even worth the company’s trouble of paying me?
Yeah, it can make for a great vacation. Hopefully when you get back you really are missed. Unfortunately, I’m expected to bring my company cell phone with me 24/7 due to my IT “responsibilities”. It’s usually ends up just talking for a few minutes, put hearing that ring WHEN I’M SUPPOSED TO BE ON VACATION makes my stomach knot up. Maybe it’s time for a change …
Oops, sorry for the typo.
It usually ends up as just a few minutes of talking, but …
I was a last hired, first fired at the Indianapolis Star at the start of December. It was my first job out of college with my shiny new degree in magazine journalism. I worked on the calendars. I had just started feeling out a career path. I got the boot.
That paper’s circling the drain, too. I’ve never been so glad I got pushed out of the industry when I did. Now if I can just find a way to pay o
… pay off my remaining medical bills without starving, I’ll be fine.
Sorry. Cat pushed the “submit” button. No, I’m not joking.
“About four years ago I remember telling a co-worker that I was proposing a metric crapload of new stuff to do so they wouldn’t fire me when the headsman got busy. He smiled and said “they don’t fire people.”…He took the first buyout.”
That reminds me of the old joke-list about “how to hunt elephants”. One of the joke was “economists don’t hunt elephants, because they believe that if you pay the elephants enough money they will hunt themselves”.
…so there it is.
MBA school method of hunting elephants:
(1) convince somebody they look like an elephant… .
In any case: here’s the paper. Scroll down; look for a small icon that resembles your host; click and read.
Thank you! That helps.
Done. Read your last several columns and a few other stories as well; hope that adds a few pennies to the coffers.
And it was really funny to see a Whataburger banner ad on the Strib site. The concept of ads targeted to the ZIP code of a registered user makes sense to me, but it’s still funny to read about the frigid winter in Minnesota right next to an ad for a Texas fast-food favorite.