Pass it along, if you wish
24 Responses to Comic Sins: Eeek! My DIARY!
Host with the Most
Brown and white spectator shoes and a gray shawl-collared suit? That’s your comic sin right there!
Where is she looking, she doesn’t look like she is looking at him, and he’s sitting like he has to pee real bad and was waiting for her to get off the hopper. And why is a heart shape spotlight shining at them?
She’s clearly quite drunk. She’s looking up at the ceiling while she’s talking. And she’s not even close to perpendicular to the floor, which leads me to think she’s falling down, and this picture was taken mid-trip.
James, I’m really glad you mentioned that those were the story titles in the lower left hand corner. I was actually reading them as if they were a sentence, and was trying to figure out how on earth it made any sense at all.
Two words: yellow spats. Somewhere a cast member from The Music Man is seriously ticked.
Are they married? He has no ring on his finger, but that’s not dispositive and we can’t see her finger. If they aren’t, isn’t she a tramp for inviting him into her boudoir? Shocking, no wonder this country is going to h e double hockeysticks.
My guess, she was going to poison him by slipping something in his ale.
“My secret shame: I appeared on the cover of a craptacular romance comic!”
Gotta love the I Love Lucy heart screen, though. Maybe five seconds after this shot was done Fred Mertz stormed in and beat the snot out of both of them.
What true life secrets?
She’s a vampire. She’s right behind him and doesn’t show up in the mirror….
“Dear Diary: I’m so happy now that that kind doctor from Germany has reattached my severed head! It’s still a bit wobbly, but it’s a joy just to be up and around again after all those weeks in that cramped little glass jar. Best of all, the unsightly stitches are completely hidden by this stylish pearl choker I found on sale at Macy’s. Isn’t it darling?”
“Wearing a pan of meatloaf on his head.” May that become as ubiquitous a coiff descriptor as the mullet.
Capellio and Fago…or whatever the names are…need another six months with their mail order “Learn to Draw” lessons.
I can understand why they printed “Diary” on the front cover. But why would they print “My True Life Secrets” on the back cover? Unless she’s writing them in Hebrew or Arabic.
…or Cappello? Whatever.
“You want me to stay out of your stuff? Next time don’t make me wait three hours while you do your makeup. Or pick up some Field and Streams so I’ll have something to read while I wait.”
Regis Philbin reads strange ladies’ diaries?
Sounds like a new reality show! – until I realize that the glitzy catch phrase (Your final answer? You’re Fired! The Tribe has spoken!) will end up being some romancey-laden diary quote that ends up being soft core porn. And coming from Regis… that’s just oogie.
I feel your pain sister…
This is why my super-secret diary of super-secret secrets says “Silas Marner” on the cover. No one has ever touched it.
The crossed legs are clearly intended to disguise his, uhhh, “excessive carnal interest” in the shocking narrative.
And how did he discover the diary? Maybe her mom handed it to him, saying, “Here, look at what Daphne has been up to. You really want a girl like that as your wife?” (Followed by, “And pour me another Wild Turkey. And this time make it a double.”)
John Robinson — we can only hope.
Mr. Lileks, as soon as I saw that blurb at the bottom, I knew you would come up with a perfect description. You did not disappoint.
“My guess, she was going to poison him by slipping something in his ale.”
She certainly has the wasp-waist for it!
I take it these comics were marketed to little girls. How odd. None of the girls I remember from my youth ever had comic books. It was definitely a guy thing. But perhaps this marketing experiment died a sickly death well before my time. does anyone remember these girl-comics being sold?
How about those diagonal lines on the mirror! Have you ever seen a mirror sporting those lines? I haven’t, but the Comics Code apparently mandates their inclusion, under penalty of law.
@HunkyBob: The reason you didn’t see girls toting these things around is that they were probably read exclusively in the girls’ bedrooms with a pack of girlfriends. It speaks well of your young character that you weren’t in the vicinity of a girl’s bedroom to witness the gigglefest. Also, in a gentler time, whatever that means, the topics were probably not joked about, let alone discussed, when boys were around. It’s not like the girls would bring them to school to trade either.
I don’t remember seeing this stuff in the 70s when I was a teenager but I had older sisters and saw a few in the 60s. Though we didn’t have this stuff around our house, partly because we didn’t have the spare change but mostly because my mother thought they were stupid, my sisters brought some old copies of similarly silly magazines/comics home from friends’ houses. I read a few on the sly and I recall thinking they were hilariously idiotic. They probably contributed to who I am today because I sure didn’t want to be like any of the fluttery and dramatic girls in those magazines.
Back in the early ’50s during summer vacation all of us war babies would gather on somebodys porch and trade our Black Hawk, War Stories, Space Taxi, etc, comic books amongst ourselves. Occasionally, a grrrl would show up with her Archie, Veronica and other grrrl yuk to trade. Looking at that stuff never affected me – other than the fact that I still have an extensive collection of peek-a-boos and make-up stuff down in da baintay wit da whaddyman. All the people in my head agree that both me and them are perfectly normal, considering. Oh, krep, I have to go down da baintay to get dressed and made up, ’cause the M.I.B.s are here!
O, Great Irritable Bear, protect me!!