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Mall of America | The Bleat.

A Saturday afternoon trip to the Mall – not my favorite place on earth – yielded a few pictures. The Darth Vader wing:

 

1

 

The center of the Mall, once Camp Snoopy, now contains a Nickelodeon theme park.

 

2

 

Gigantic machinery rearranges the contents of your stomach:

 

3

 

Cute:

 

6

 

Ramp it down, grandma:

 

7

 

Like most malls, it’s the architecture of monumental emptiness:

 

4

 

20 Responses to Mall of America

  1. Charlie Young says:

    Cue Storm Troopers…

  2. Nancy says:

    Damn, I wanted to be the first one! Major mall cheesiness this…

  3. My5kidsdad says:

    I LOVE that first pic. GREAT composition. I wonder how many people notice the stark B&W geometric shapes from that view.

  4. rivlax says:

    Were Mary Kate and Ashley there?

  5. Matt says:

    “Your lack of faith in The Mall of America Commander Lileks is disturbing…”

  6. Mxymaster says:

    The moment Schulz schuffled off this mortal coil Nick moved in for the kill. Aaaauuuuuuggh! This is how fast you jump in my grave, SpongeBob? Good grief!

  7. Al Federber says:

    Although there are plenty of malls near us, Wifey and I go to one maybe once every two years. Maybe not even that often. Last time was to a huge upscale suburban mall in a nearby community, and let me tell you it was culture shock. The amount and variety of useless crap for sale was astounding, as were the people shelling out big bucks for it. I’m a free market capitalist, and even I was disgusted.

    I suppose the most revolting thing we saw was a hip clothing store specifically for fat teenage girls. It was right next door to a bakery.

  8. MikeH says:

    I went there in 1997 when my dad had to go to a math conference in Minneapolis. Besides the mall being HUGE and having a few rides, to me I saw what it really was. A shopping mall. I do remember they had a Planet Hollywood there (somewhere I have a T-shirt to prove it) a comedy club and a Hooters. I tried to get my dad to go there, but I think he was too bashful to go in. Is Hooters still there at the mall?

  9. GardenStater says:

    “Besides the mall being HUGE and having a few rides, to me I saw what it really was. A shopping mall.”

    First time I went there was around ’92, or so. Can’t remember, but it had only opened a year or two before. I was in Minneapolis on business. I agree–I remember thinking “It’s like a mall, only bigger.” That was my first experience with a Hooters. Prior to that, I had assumed it was a topless joint.

  10. HunkyBob says:

    Went to the Mall of the Mainland once when I was in the Twin Cities a couple of years just to see what the hoopla was all about. The most interesting thing to me was the red seat. Other than that, meh. A big mall with a roller coaster inside and lot of noise…

  11. Fred Baumann says:

    Trained by life and your myriad enthusiasms, you have a very observant eye. More photos, please!

  12. DaveInAz says:

    Those who don’t live in the Twin Cities may not quite understand the singular appeal of the Mall of America:

    Warmth.

    Let me set the stage. It’s 10 degrees below zero, and you can go to a bazillion square foot area with a couple of dozen restaurants, a thousand stores and a theme park with a roller coaster, stuff your parka and galoshes in a locker, and walk around all day in 72 degree temps.

    Or you could just sit at home and get your SpongeBob fix from your sofa.

    (Okay. It’s not an easy decision.)

  13. Cathy says:

    We visit/make a pilgramage there once a year when we visit grandma in Northfield– most recently July 2008. The Sponge Bob Pineapple bouncer still features in my 6-yr-old’s bedtime stories almost every night. And I can compeltely appreciate the glory of a huge covered space in the dead of winter, being a New Englander myself. Color me a fan!

  14. Cathy says:

    er..completely…dang perview.

  15. roger h (bgbear) says:

    One of the few things I remember from the MoM, besides Camp Snoopy, is that someone thought to mark where home plate was from the old stadium.

  16. DensityDuck says:

    I’ve often thought that American shopping malls are the last gasp of the “neo-futurist” architectural stylings that we saw in Syd Mead’s concept art. If they didn’t bother to paint the ventilation ducts, it would look completely perfect.

  17. Warren says:

    What he hell is Patrick doing to SpongeBob?

  18. DaveInAz says:

    bgbear, I think you’re actually referring to the seat on the wall of MOA from the old Met Stadium mounted in the exact space in space (if not in time) from which it was rescued.

    (Sheesh. That’s the worst sentence I’ve written in months, and I think I’ll punish myself by actually hitting the button at the bottom of the page that says “Post Comment”. I’d be best off to close the work day and open a bottle of wine, lest I write anything more ridiculous.)

  19. KryptoBunny says:

    I work at the Mall of America (Word UP, American Girl Boutique and Bistro), and I see that shockingly fish-happy grandmother nearly every day. Doesn’t brighten up a Saturday morning, let me tell you.

  20. Lynne E. says:

    My husband and I avoid Malls like the plague! But some kind soul gives us a gift certificate and we have to endure the experience. I spend the time looking for a place that sells glass paperweights so I can add to my collection.

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