From the monthly archives: September 2011
The wind picked up the gazebo and moved it two feet. The gazebo weighs 150 pounds, at least. Perhaps I should have gathered up the bug screens; they acted as sails. A chair was knocked over as well.
The fact that I’m leading with a chair being overturned gives you a sense of the [...]
I’m standing outside the Element, looking at it, and a nice lady walks past and says “how do you like your car?”
Most days I’d say I love it. But. Right now I am sitting in the deli department of Cub foods on a gorgeous day that is really, really going poorly. The most recent [...]
Grey day; September has been one long dull toothache. Hey, I forgot to tell you what I had for supper yesterday! Pizza. On a Monday, you say? Doesn’t that violate the Order of Things. Yes. But wife is out of town, and daughter wanted to try this:
The 100-option drink dispenser. And it [...]
Recall the tale of the glasses with the bad glare-reduction coating? No, it’s not some time-worn parable. It happened – to me! Yes, I got glasses that became cloudy and scratchy, and when I went back to Lenscrafter an unfriendly manager told me that they were out of warranty, even though they were a year [...]
Never heard this one before: they were cruising in the Caribbean, a day out of San Juan. A clear night, calm seas. My dad looks out and sees . . . a sub. It’s come up to fire its torpedoes. In fact it has fired its torpedoes: he can see the trails in the moonlight. [...]
1. I will be going back to the old format. I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. the change will come at the start of the new year. New software will be needed; there might be – gasp – an URL redirect. There will be comments. There might not be [...]
In the middle of writing a column tonight I hit that dangerous point: okay, I got a few lines in, the idea’s solid. I can drift. Checked out one of those time-wasting sites, and a pop-up asked if I’d like to take a survey. Oh, why, yes! Sure. There have been times I start to [...]
It’s a sad fact, but true: no matter how magnificent your backup strategy, or how elegantly organized your computer is, no one gives a tin krep. At best they’ll be impressed for 3 or 4 seconds, and then there’s either pity or envy. No better proof of virtue being its own reward. Except for helping [...]
The Joyless Deathmarch of Enslaved Machinery
On September 20, 2011 · 51 Comments · In Advertising, Architorture, Comic Sins, Matchbooks, Mpls: history, The Forties, The Thirties
When I went to the sheriff’s office to pick up some documents, I passed the cafe in City Hall. Never seen it before; I’d always thought everyone ate downstairs in the big cafe under the plaza, but the waterfall. (Note to designers of the future: even if the windows face a waterfall, people still know [...]
Previously I’ve tried to clean stuff out, and thought: no. I never know when I’ll need it. But now and then a great gust moves through your life, and you realize I need but food and shelter and the love of my family. So this hex wrench of unknown origin can probably go. Not like [...]
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