The definitions of “Lingerie” have changed in 50 years, it seems. Number one looks like some sort of ice-cream parlor pixie.

#2: What can brown do for you? Precious little, as long as she’s wearing that.

#4: Hah! she says. And you think you had the unflattering outfit contest sewed up, didn’t you? Look at this, girlfriend. It’s like my thighs go all the way to my navel.

#5 looks like something from the Stuckeys of the Future.