These things would moire so bad on TV they would warp time.

Famous "Joan Bradley" dresses - sorry, frocks. Note the one of the top left; it's "Wool-lyke." Which means, I assume, "not wool." It has "Cragmore" suiting, which could possibly mean it's not Cragmore at all, but "Cragmore-lyke."

The L Dress has "Burma" cotton. I think they just chose words at random and threw them in, then checked the orders to see which terms worked.

Note the price of the bottom left dress. Either deflation had really kicked in, or that thing was made of newspaper.